My heart is full of gratitude.
I want to talk about the “why” behind this but I can’t. My chest holds the tension of a thousand glad sobs. Words of awe, of delight, of joy are burbling and bubbling around in my heart, smacking into each other and chuckling with glee as they get all tripped up and twisted around with each other.
Beauty abounds.
Two college students sit in front of me, their dark-haired heads nearly touching as they work together over their project. They collaborate and then go back to their individual screens, stopping for sips of iced coffee, one adjusting her t-shirt and the other tucking a whisp of hair behind her ear.
Magic is playing in my ears. By Coldplay. Sometimes I let my app choose the music for me and I trust it to find a song that suits the moment. It’s surprising how often it’s spot on.
There is a sign at the counter written in green, a color that chose me toward the beginning of this year. It keeps choosing me and it’s prophetic. Life after death. New growth. Abundance.
My sister says that when one talks about a deeply significant moment it can diminish its beauty. Words dirty the sparkling waters. Some things are meant to be treasured silently. I agree. Also, there is the dilemma of trying to use something finite to describe the infinite. There are certain things never meant to be shared.
Yet some writers are so gifted and in tune with their soul that their words don’t muddy the waters. Instead, they stir the soul’s deep desires. I want to write like this. I want my words to open up desire. I don’t have to create desire because it’s already there — maybe buried deeply, maybe hidden away, maybe squashed down — but fully intact.
I want to open the vault, even just a crack. “Awake darling desires. Rub your sleepy eyes. Come alive. Show yourself.”
I want to awaken desires that will tell you about the genuine in you. I want to awaken desires that will lead to the glorious you that sings the never-ending song of the Mystery.
I want to awaken you to Love. A Love that courses through every vein and is the material of every bit of matter. A Love that comes exactly as you need it — fierce and furious for some, sweet and tender for others, gentle and peaceful or all-consuming, a ravaging fire or a soft breeze — whatever is needed, whatever is necessary to communicate the heart of the Blessed They — the Triune with their continual circle of Love. Pouring themselves out — love upon love upon endless love.
If you are still for a moment you might feel it thrumming through your veins. If you put your hand over your heart you might feel its rhythmic song, “I love you. I love you. I love you” — the song that never rests, never sleeps. You may feel it speed up at times or slow down, but always it remains. If you quiet yourself enough to hear your own breath you may notice the cycle — inhaling and exhaling Love. The whole world filled up with Love. Extravagantly, plentiful, more than enough to go around. If only we have hearts to receive. If only we have courage to give. If only we have eyes to see.
The whole world, pressed down, shaken together, running over with Love.
What perfect timing to receive these words this morning. You description is glorious. I'm so glad you shared this with us. I'm richer for it.