Recently, my beloved Light House hosted a retreat day on prayer. One of the things they began with was considering your own personal name for the Holy, the Mystery, the Divine. They referenced the Hebrew story of Hagar and how she named the Holy as “the one who sees.” I have been pondering if the name we are drawn to in regard to the Divine has something to do with our own deepest name. And since our deepest name is the part of us that is often the most marred, perhaps this also has something to do with our deepest pain. A name I am drawn to is Love and so I often refer to the Holy as Love.
Since this name — Love — is so broad, I have been wondering if I might put a little definition around it. Just my own language — not something you have to adhere to. So I began with a memory.
It was January 1992 when I began reading my Bible every day, starting with Genesis, and intent on finishing the entire thing by the end of the year. I had done the calculations, and knew that I had to read approximately three chapters a day to finish on time.
I’ll never forget that first time I read from beginning to end, hearing fascinating stories and words that I had never heard before, in spite of the fact that I grew up with all the most popular Bible stories. One of the books that absolutely stunned me was Song of Songs. I read it in one sitting and then again, lingering over the erotic language, half shocked, half in love. If I had known enough then to know that it is valuable to pay attention to those things that sparkle for us, I would have known there was a good reason why I felt so drawn to those words.
I grew up going to church on Sundays and never missed a week for my entire childhood, unless I was sick. You can imagine how many sermons I’ve heard — probably well over a thousand. Out of all those sermons there is only one that I can now remember. We had a guest speaker who came from the big city to our tiny country church and he preached from Song of Songs. To this day I can clearly remember some of his words. I think he was the first person who explicitly introduced me to a God of radical, passionate, erotic love. It shocked me but deep inside I knew that what he said was true. The way that he described God felt like a soothing balm to a heart that had been used to a God who expected perfection and holiness at any cost, rather than a ravishing, all-encompassing lover who was totally into me.
This is one aspect about the Mystery that matters to me. When I study the universe, my mind is blown by its vastness and yet the Mystery is even beyond. I see the wonder of this. But it doesn’t matter to me as much as knowing that I am God’s favorite. So are you. You can’t read Song of Songs without coming to the conclusion that one side of Love (the Divine) is erotic, romantic, I’m-crazy-about-you love.
Kiss me — full on the mouth!
Yes!
For your love is better than wine,
headier than your aromatic oils.
The syllables of your name
murmur like a meadow brook.
No wonder everyone loves
to say your name!
Take me away with you!
Let’s run off together!
An elopement with my King-Lover.
We’ll celebrate, we’ll sing,
we’ll make great music.
Yes!
For your love is better
than vintage wine.
Everyone loves you -
of course.
And why not?
I am black, but lovely.
My lover has arrived
and he’s speaking to me!
Get up, my dear friend,
fair and beautiful lover -
come to me.
Look around you;
winter is over;
the winter rains are over, gone!
Spring flowers are in blossom
all over.
The whole world’s a choir -
and singing.
Spring warblers are
filling the forest
with sweet arpeggios.
Lilacs are exuberantly purple
and perfumed,
and cherry trees
fragrant with blossoms.
Oh, get up, dear friend,
my fair and beautiful lover -
come to me!
Come, my shy and modest dove -
leave your seclusion,
come out in the open.
Let me see your face,
let me hear your voice.
For your voice is soothing
and your face is ravishing.
My lover is mine and I am his.
*Segments taken from Song of Songs